Back in 2013, I was so proud of myself. I was dropping weight like crazy, and I was 25 measly pounds away from 199 for the first time in years (like seriously…we’re talking middle school).
This past holiday season, I saw my before weight on the scale (plus a few). The 300s. I wanted to cry. In fact, for a good two hours, I looked at my weight loss milestones with so much regret. How did I let myself go this far? I thought about where I would be if I just kept going, and after staring at pictures and my motivation swimsuit that I bought a couple of years ago (I won some credit to the website and figured…why not?), I told myself to stop sulking, and it’s time to do something about it.
Left side: March 2013, Right side: December 2014
I can absolutely think back to the series of events that led to my current weight. At my lowest in April of 2013, I was in the 220s. I went from the 220s to the 230s and stayed there for a while. Then, half marathon training happened in the fall, and I started justifying foods for the amount of exercise I was doing. The longer runs were the hardest days, because I felt like my stomach was a bottomless pit, and whatever was easiest to grab, I’d buy it. I figured if I was burning 1000+ calories, I could eat whatever I wanted. Wrong. I easily gained 10 lbs. from half marathon training. Yep…GAINED.
After the half marathon, I still had those horrible eating habits, even though I wasn’t running nearly as much. I was pretty beat up after my half, so I completely lost motivation to go to the gym, to eat better, etc. In the meantime, my 16 jeans went to 16W, then 18W, and now, a snug 20W. I kept telling myself that I would get back in the swing of things soon…the diet would always start on a Monday. Then, Monday would happen, and of course, I’d eat something terrible and say, “Next week…”.
I had to wait until I was ready to get back in the swing of things. I knew the moment would hit me at some point, like it did the time before. Stereotypically, enough was enough right after Christmas. I’m not going to say that I’m starting all over again, because everything contributed to my journey thus far. The 70 lb. loss, the gain…it’s all a part of the journey. I may not be the quintessential before/after weight loss story, but to me, my journey is everything. I’ve learned some valuable lessons along the way and cannot wait to see the numbers on the scale go down again. While I could keep beating myself up over the weight gain, I’m just going to view this as a moment in my life where I’m going to be stronger from this and appreciate my weight loss that much more.
I’m currently doing a DietBet, and the weight is steadily going down. I’m fairly sure I’ll just do DietBets like last time, until 4% is no longer feasible for me. Also, I’ll be writing monthly updates on here, and sharing weekly weigh-ins on Twitter/Instagram/Facebook. 🙂 I’m also on MyFitnessPal (niftyfoodie).
I hope you have the motivation to get back into the swing of things. I know that I go through periods where I just don’t give a shit. During those times, it is very hard to motivate myself to eat healthy. I have to really want it to have any success.
I’ve been eating terribly lately too. Ugh.
Thank you! It’s really hard to stay motivated 100% of the time, but I know it will be worth it in the end. And yes, I agree. You really have to want it to do well!